Daily Life Lessons · Temples
Learn when people visit graves, the basic steps, and the cemetery rules (offerings, fire and trash), so that you can act on your own when joining a friend's family or others.
Visiting a grave (お墓参り) is a custom of remembering deceased family members and ancestors and putting your hands together in front of their grave. Many people go during Obon (お盆), Higan (お彼岸) or on the anniversary of a death. The timing of Obon differs by region, such as July or August, and Higan is the seven days with the Spring Equinox Day or the Autumn Equinox Day in the middle.
Usually, people clean the grave, offer flowers and incense, and quietly put their hands together. Customs, such as whether to pour water over the gravestone, differ by religion, Buddhist school, region and family (some Jodo Shinshu temples say not to pour water). Follow the people you are with.
Some cemeteries ask visitors to take food and other offerings home, because they attract animals such as crows and bears. Before leaving, put out the incense and candles, and take your trash home. Do not touch other families' graves, and walk quietly. For detailed rules, follow the guidance of each cemetery.
お墓参り（おはかまいり）は、亡くなった 家族を 思って、お墓の 前で 手を 合わせる ことです。 お盆（ぼん）や お彼岸（ひがん）に 行く 人が 多いです。
1. お墓を そうじします。 2. 花と 線香（せんこう）を そなえます。 3. 手を 合わせます。 （お墓に 水を かけるか どうかは、家や 宗派（しゅうは）で ちがいます）
・食べ物は 持って 帰る 霊園（れいえん）が あります（動物が 来るからです）。 ・帰る 前に 火を 消します。 ・ごみは 持って 帰ります。 ・ほかの 家の お墓に さわりません。
家や 地域に よって やり方が ちがいます。
When is Higan?
It is the seven days in spring and autumn with the Spring Equinox Day or the Autumn Equinox Day in the middle.
At a cemetery that asks you to take offerings home, what do you do with food?
Some cemeteries ask you to take it home because it attracts animals such as crows and bears.
What must you do before leaving?
To prevent fires, put out the incense and candles before you leave.
What if you do not know the customs?
Customs differ by religion, Buddhist school, region and family, so follow the people you are with and the cemetery's guidance.
What about other families' graves?
Do not touch other families' graves, and walk quietly.
Q. Can I go with them even though I am not family?
A. If you are invited, it is fine to go with them. Ask the people you are going with in advance about clothes, what to bring and the customs.
Q. Should I bring a bucket and ladle?
A. Some cemeteries and temples lend them, but some places do not. Check in advance.
Q. When is Obon?
A. It differs by region; in some regions it is in July, in others in August, and so on.
This practice tool asks questions in random order (it works when JavaScript is enabled). You can still read all the questions and explanations above without it.
Systems and procedures may differ depending on the city, ward, town or village where you live and on the time of year. Please check the latest information from your local government or the relevant organizations.
Content checked on: 2026-09-28
This page is a translation of the Japanese original. If the translation and the original differ, the Japanese version takes precedence. View the Japanese original